I had a good job, in a really fun company, doing what I liked and I was on a great salary. I also had several businesses on the side that were very successful. My days were full on and my multi tasking was impressive. I had many friends, and a full social diary. I was grateful for all that I had, and I laughed a lot everyday - yet I would also have frequent low moments where I’d find myself googling questions like ‘What is the point of life?’ and ‘What does a truly happy life look like?’ I would read article after article trying to answer these questions that nagged me.
The articles I found that helped mainly talked of taking leaps of faith; I have never had any trouble making brave choices and taking exciting leaps in my life; I knew my issue was not bravery. My problem was that I had absolutely no idea which way to leap my life, or why I even felt the need to leap – I just kept thinking that if what I had wasn’t enough, how would anything ever be?
I realise now, many years later, that I could never have seen how to get here from there. I can clearly see now; but it was impossible from there. It feels a bit like at the end of the Sixth Sense with Bruce Willis – when we're given the missing piece of information, and suddenly everything we thought we knew is different.
I see now what the problem was; I had absolutely no idea who I was – and without any idea of who I was, how could I know what I needed, liked or wanted? How had I got to 35 without knowing? I had been molded by society, and I had followed the crowd; I had everything society dictated I needed to be successful, but I had missed out the part where I was a match to most of it – I had got an impressively long way up a ladder, that was unfortunately leaning against the wrong tree.
I realized that it had nothing to do with the amount I had accumulated or how excellent my life looked to anyone else; it was an inside job that I needed to complete. I cringed a tiny bit as I realised this, that it ultimately comes down to self love – the phrase used to make me twitch, because to me it sounded so self indulgent, but I needed to love myself enough to invest in finding out who I was, and therefore what I liked, or I would never know which way to leap.
It was not easy. After 35 years of going with the flow, having a spotlight on me felt very unsettling and against my nature. My resistance was huge... until I started noticing the positive benefits. I started to access a deeper layer of feelings that I had not felt before. I started hearing and listening to myself from inside. I started hearing my needs and valuing them, and slowly I worked out who I was and what I loved. It was the most fascinating, worthwhile and empowering journey of my life so far. I now love and understand myself and my life flows beautifully. I no longer question my point and I have never been happier.
I found my missing peace.
Amy is a lovely caring person, she has this ability to put you at ease - I love this woman. She can steer you into the right path that I can guarantee.”
— Isabel, London